Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
