i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
