mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
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I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Go christen that room with your naked body.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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