just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
