maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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