Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
