i was born a porn star she said
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
