Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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