bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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