I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
