you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
