I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
