they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
