8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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