You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
my poor anus
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
