My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
