Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
