What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
