Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize