sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Randomize
