Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
