and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Are my feet made of real feet?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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