Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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