I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
