I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
