I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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