Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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