I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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