Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
