plz talk dirty to me
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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