Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
