Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
