I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
kristin has been a bad kristin
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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