the new term for farting is butt boxing.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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