yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
