Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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