Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
