Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
