She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We're too hungover to prance.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
