The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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