You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
