So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize