im drinking this country out of the recession.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize