after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
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The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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