did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize