I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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