I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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