Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
