What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
