seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize