fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
