He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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