i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
